Arriving at my desk this morning with my cuppa, I couldn’t help but be struck by how much it resembles my messy mind of the moment. . .
You will be relieved to know that I restored a modicum of order quite quickly, but yes, there are many projects jumbled together on that desk. Many more that I haven’t got to yet, their potential archival resources neatly stacked in boxes on the shelves above, the floor below.
I would tell you more about some of those projects, but a very good friend I haven’t seen for many months texted yesterday evening that she and her husband are in town — we’ve just had restrictions lightened here in BC, and can once again travel between regions in our province — and we’ve invited them for dinner. Our first non-family dinner guests since early last Fall. I’m so excited and pleased . . .
And a teeny bit trepidatious. Not about this dinner, as such. But about the moves we’re all beginning to make out of our cocoons, constraining as those cocoons might have been. If I’m honest, there’s a similar jumble of my books and projects on the coffee table, a much smaller accumulation on the dining table. It’s been months since I’ve looked at my home through the eyes of visitors, and while we’ve mostly kept up regular cleaning and tidying (even painted most of the walls!), there’s been an undeniable relaxation in having the place to ourselves.
Similarly, I’m very much looking forward to an upcoming visit to see our son’s family on the island — we haven’t seen those grandkids since August and they’ve changed so much since then. At the same time, I remember the effort and planning that even a short, regional trip requires, and I’m glad we’re starting small. I suspect that as glorious as the re-connection will be, there is likely to be fatigue by the end of it and perhaps an emotional surprise or two along the way.
Overall, of course, I must reiterate that I’m thrilled about both tonight’s dinner (and my GF and I will meet up later in the week as well) and about being able to see our son, daughter-in-law, and grandkids again. And, truly, about being allowed to “get out of town.”
Change is good. But it’s still worth noting that it takes energy. . .
Which is what I wrote about in this post from five years ago, the follow-up to one I re-posted here a few weeks ago, remembering our big move from our very-small-island waterfront home to our city condo. I suspect that this month’s five-year anniversary of leaving that home might be a factor in some of my thinking about cocoons. But overall, that big change was another opportunity to recognize and develop my own resilience.
We should talk about that one of these posts, all the changes we’ve weathered, the way we’ve learned resilience from exercising it of necessity. . . But not today. Today my mind is too messy, and my home needs some tidying as well. And I’ve delegated the cooking of dinner, but it’s my job to arrange the dessert (If you’ve been reading here recently, you know exactly how I’m arranging it).
That doesn’t mean I’ll be too busy to read your comments though. Drop me a line below. Thank you!
Ah… the months of confinement with no fear that anyone else will see my messy house. I’m going to miss that. Enjoy your dinner and your upcoming visit to the island, Frances. xo
Author
Right?! So I’m not the only one then. (Really enjoyed your post today — the travails of the inveterate reader 😉
Funny how different we all are. My friend in Ireland said her house has never been so clean! Not so with mine. Unfortunately, I avoid house work and the last 15 months have been a reprieve from that. We are having out of town guests in five weeks, so I’ve got a goal!!!
Author
Kathleen: Excatly! So different. My mother-in-law would clean as a leisure activity and I can emphatically state that I’ve ever taken that approach. I like some organization, neatness, and I’m a big fan of kitchen and bathroom hygiene, but not so solid on, say, dust. . . .
Goals are good, but don’t sprain anything! 😉
I’ve got a pile of cardboard boxes from Spud.ca under the dining room table. I thought that they might come in useful and we don’t sit at the table to eat. I’ve become quite accustomed to my cocoon although I will be glad to get out of town.
Author
This is exactly the kind of phenomenon I mean. After a while, we don’t even seen the pile of whatever on the dining table or the ironing board in the middle of the room (because of whatever sewing project we embarked on three weeks ago and intend to get back to soon). . . . And now we’re gradually rubbing our eyes clear again 😉
Since my house is in the midst of renovations, I have the perfect excuse for messy…and I am fine with it. I tried to keep up with the dust at first, but it is pointless, so I will just wait until all is done before trying for a thorough clean (maybe…). 🙂
Not really contemplating much change from my cocooning any time soon. The introvert in me is pretty deeply entrenched, except for an occasional family get-together. It seems that people around here have become almost too aggressive–on the roads and in other places. My dental hygienist told me yesterday that some patients have become belligerent when they are asked to wear their masks into the office since the staff doesn’t know whether patients have had the vaccine or not. Others try to refuse to tell her if they are vaccinated and/or which vaccine they received (she is required by the state to gather that info as a health care office). Not pleasant. So, for now, cocooning still works for me.
Author
I found renovations tough to live through, but I do embrace all the excuses I can for messiness 😉 And there’s absolutely no point trying to clean up that dust (in my experience, it continues to materialize for at least a year afterward).
Your poor dental hygienist– she’s probably wishing for a cocoon!
Frances,don’t worry-are we living for ourselves or for others (I mean guests, not close family)?
My house is clean,sitting/dining room is (almost) in perfect state (perfect as I see it and want it to be,with books,notebooks,open bussines diary-I have to have reminders everywhere,I’m not used to work so much any more, for a long time) but not IG worthy. My desk (luckily, in another room) is full of parts of diferent projects,too (my mind as well :))…….so,I’ll finish the famous Albert Einstein quote you’ve started….is an empty desk sign of an empty mind?
I like clean,empty,minimalist desks,but it simply can’t last for me. Maybe if I could have enough drawers……..?
I didn’t have more than one or two guests at the same time so far,but here are handymen and consultants almost every day. What can they think? I don’t care (a lot)!
So,enjoy your guests and visiting your family-it is precious to see them again!
Dottoressa
Author
Dottoressa, thanks! I can tell you quickly I’m not worrying much about it, just that it’s interesting to make that switch after so long. . . . A friend emailed me privately after she read this post, and she offered her version of that Einstein quote: Messy Desk, Messy Mind: Take Your Pick. . .
I once had the university ergonomics guy come to my office to see how I could alleviate the shoulder-elbow-wrist pain I was experiencing . . . and he quickly (and non-judgmentally) identified a simple truth: that I use my desk surface for storage as well as for writing. Like you, I’d love that clean, minimalist, empty desk, but I think even with enough drawers I couldn’t achieve it because I also like to see all the materials I might possibly need.
I will just enjoy my guests this evening, absolutely — and I hope you will soon be able to say good-bye to your handymen. xo
I enjoy so many things about your posts; your candor just one of many! It seems interesting to me that we have accepted forced isolation for so long, so easily, while those who have imposed it haven’t been isolated at all. Yet, coming out of it, requires a mind reset. For the first time, I realize how easily a populace can become “controlled”! I, too, have found the simple act of entertaining requires a refresher course. Enjoy your company!
Author
Thanks for the kind words, Angela.
I’m not sure what you mean or where you’re writing from when you speak of “those who have imposed” and those who “have accepted forced isolation.” We’ve had very good science-based leadership here, for the most part, and most of those who have been leading and guiding us have been respecting the same protocols as have the general population. It’s been really tough on the hospitality industry, but overall I think most of us have understood the importance of slowing the virus’s progress. And we’ve had really good buy-in to the vaccine.
I apologize for the confusion; I should have been more specific. I’m reading and writing from the United States, more specifically, New Jersey.
Angela Muller
Author
No need to apologize; I was just curious. I know there are many regions that have suffered from poor leadership throughout. We’ve been relatively lucky in my little corner of the world.
I’m sure dinner was a great success and that visiting the island will be too. I find mess/clutter stressful and my mum trained me so that I often see my home through the eyes of guests, actual or imaginary. So I tend to tidy regularly and clean a bit between visits from my cleaners (I paused them last year due to Covid but I got them back a couple of months ago). Stacks of books, knitting etc are okay within reason but there’s a tipping point that gets to me. My daughter once said that I like the house to look like no-one lives there but she and I (and her grandmother) have different standards!
We are – still fingers crossing – to have visitors next week. My mind runs over meal ideas, how much booze to buy, make sure we have plenty of loo roll but I am refusing to allow it to dwell. Just in case, you know. This has been the biggest change in my thinking over the past sixteen months. Don’t dwell. I was exercised by something a friend had done only this morning and instead of allowing my mind to blow it up out of all reasonable proportion (while allowing myself to be irritated to a degree) I thought it all through and worked out what it was that so irked me – lack of consideration – and then let it get parked. She is a good friend and her life is not particularly easy at the moment. A year ago I would have let it fester. As they say in Liverpool: can’t be arsed.
Author
I hope you’re able to enjoy that visit, but I agree that it’s important to stay supple on all these changing protocols. We seem. to have followed a steadier course than you, more conservative in different ways (and reflecting our different geographies, different demographics, different political situations, etc.). . . but still, we need to be mindful that pandemic-causing viruses aren’t overly concerned about what we consider our rights or entitlements.
Your sense of perspective is a good model. Can’t be arsed. . . . must be a bumper sticker somewhere 😉
I am happy to read about your impromptu dinner guests! Yes, we, too, have been slowly re-engaging with social events, friends, and family…not necessarily in that order. We are going slow even as California announced that we are “open”. As I ran a few errands today with my mask on, I noticed many were still wearing theirs as well.
Hope your dinner with friends was sweet and fulfilling! As we slowly emerge, we are appreciating the socializing all anew and don’t want to rush into anything. Here’s to a redefined sense of self-enriching solitude and social obligation.
Author
We had a lovely meal — and you would have recognized the friend and could have chatted about painting.
Empty desk, empty mind. Heh.
Author
Yes, I’d rather be messy than empty. You get it! 😉 (but, of course I’d say that, since I’ve never achieved a clear desktop. . . )
Hope dinner went well . We are relaxing a little here & meeting up with various family & friends . Early this week I met three old workmates for lunch outside in a city marketplace. The sun shone , the local busker sang all my old favourites ( very nicely ) & their best chocolate orange cake was back on the menu . We were so happy to be relaxing & laughing together . It was the same all around us . It’s been a long worrying haul & I wasn’t sure I would be able to put my concerns aside -a little voice in my head was saying ‘ not quite over yet ‘ but it feels like time to be grateful to the scientists & get on with life again .
Enjoy your family get together & the hugs .
Author
Such a release, I would imagine! I think part of it for me, last night anyway, isn’t even so much about the safety (we were on our terrace, outside, no one but us, four vaccinated friends, but even just wondering how/whether my social skills have fared through this prolonged mothballing. Relieved to report they seem intact 😉
Change is good, this kind of change, but I agree that it takes energy. The other day I felt nostalgia for the beginning of the pandemic, when famous DJs hosted Instagram dance parties and it felt for a moment that we were all linked.
Author
Yes! And when we all went out onto our balconies at 7 p.m. to make some noise cheering for our front-line workers. . .