Eating in Paris

Macarons at Ladurée, Rue Royale

Even on our very first visit to Paris, almost twenty years ago, with four kids in tow, we managed to enjoy some of the wonderful food available, although for the sake of the budget we focussed more on the great sandwiches available, dividing those marvels of baguettes split and stuffed with Niçoise or picking up a roast chicken, some baguettes, and some cheese to eat picnic-style in a park.

The following year, Paul and I went back on our own for a ten-day walking tour in the Auvergne and then he left me on my own for another ten days. I had loved our time in France as a family the year before, but had become very aware of my twenty-year old, pre-marriage, pre-children self, sitting on a shelf somewhere, daydreaming about travel, and had decided to resurrect her. I was terrified when I kissed Paul good-bye at the airport and headed to the train station to head south to Aix, but exhilirated as well. Luckily I had enough decent French to express myself if people were patient — and they generally were — and I managed quite well. Travelling alone, I met people more easily and got into conversation at one point with some young Americans, travelling through France on their honeymoon. They claimed that they were living on bread and ice cream (well, love too, I bet!) because they didn’t know how to order food in a restaurant. I couldn’t believe anyone would forego such an important pleasure for such a goofy reason — personally, I think I would simply have pointed at any yummy-looking dish being delivered to a nearby table and indicated through sign language that I’d have that too.

I also met an interesting American woman who arranged to meet me in Paris (we first met on the train in the Dordogne, I think) so that she could have company for dinner (although I must admit I may have been a bit naïve — there were some indications she may have had other hopes as well). As a single woman, she hadn’t felt comfortable going into restaurants on her own. I’ve long felt perfectly fine doing this although I used to need a book as cover. My stay in Aix changed that for me: eating outside at tables where the chairs faced out to enable diners to enjoy the parade of passers-by, I revelled in the anonymity and realized that, short of staring rudely, I could enjoy looking at my surroundings as I ate. It’s a gift I’ve appreciated ever since, and I still occasionally think of that experience when I get shown to a table on my own.

But the last four visits to Paris I’ve shared with Paterfamilias and although we have never experienced the culinary heights of a Michelin-starred restaurant, we’ve enjoyed a range of eating in the City of Light. The first two springs I had a little list — mainly gleaned from some of the Paris blogs, David Lebowitz’s especially (and I even spotted him at one of his recommended places — he was leading a small tour and was very tolerant of my celebrity-spotting behaviour), but also Clotilde’s, and even Eric over at Paris Daily Photo will occasionally mention a restaurant he favours. Somedays we would make a particular eating spot our walking destination for the day — we once headed all the way out past the Bastille into a rather unlikely neighbourhood for tourists, to eat some beautifully simple and authentic crêpes with cider in a very homey little place where the server was clearly bemused to have tourists stop by; sometimes I’d just have the list with me to see what might be within striking distance of the morning’s art gallery or museum or shopping. More often than not, we would find ourselves surrounded by French speakers, with servers switching into (limited) English for us, even offering English menus occasionally, although quite happy to stay in French if we made it clear that we preferred that.

To charges that Parisian restaurant service is rude, we would counter that it’s sometimes curt in the interest of efficiency, but we’ve never experienced rudeness. Since waiting is considered a worthy career in France and the servers there are paid decently rather than dependent on tips, you will not learn your server’s name and he or she doesn’t have time to join in your conversation. I consider this a plus, although we have had some lovely chats with restaurant staff through the years, if and when they have a few free moments. In our experience, especially in the cafés and bistros, Parisian waiters tend to have more tables to look after than North American ones, and they haven’t time to loiter while you decide what you’re going to eat. So if you’re not ready, they will nod brusquely and move along, and you may feel rudely dismissed, but your server will return to check on you when he’s got a minute and you’ll get your food as expeditiously as possible.

Over the past few years, we’ve built our own little list of places that we try to get back to each visit. Some get dropped — the service at Angelina’s was simply too poor this year so that marvellous hot chocolate is now, sadly, off the list; and some get added — we serendipitously discovered a perfectly simple little crépe place right near the Luxembourg Gardens, all the other diners French, the price reasonable, the service friendly. If you’d like, I’ll tell you about a few of these in my next post.

14 Comments

  1. Anonymous
    20 July 2008 / 4:58 pm

    This was a lovely post, very interesting. I’m looking forward to taking the kids to Paris (their interest in French has increased a little this year, and they are starting to realise that if we go back to Ottawa, they will have to have French if they want summer jobs etc). Please do share your restaurant recommendations! I also agree with your comments about waiters – it’s a profession in (continental) Europe and it’s a delight to be served in this way. Patricia

  2. Eric
    20 July 2008 / 6:41 pm

    I loved reading your “adventure”. It’s always interesting to read what foreigners think of your country and – more than anything – what they thing of a sensible topic in France: food!

    I think you pointed out something very important when it comes to service in restaurants: waiters have to wait more tables than in the US, that is why they may appear a bit “direct” sometimes. But very few of them are intentionally rude or lazy.

  3. Duchesse
    20 July 2008 / 6:44 pm

    Please do share your favourites in Paris. Laduree boxes are built like luggage and if you carry them home that way, you have the lovely pale mint box practically forever.

    Only once did I encounter rudeness, when after many days of four course dinners I wanted only an appetizer and glass of wine. The waiter said (in French)”If you can’t afford to eat out you should stay home.” We laughed, which is often the best retort.

  4. materfamilias
    20 July 2008 / 7:30 pm

    Patricia: yes, my son lived in Ottawa for Grade 10 (my husband worked there for a few years, commuting here for a weekend out of every two or three — it was a good way for them to have a special year together and Zach to see what life back East was like) and I think was surprised to see how necessary French became if, as you say, he would have tried to get a summer job there.
    Eric: I'm very tickled to have you stop by, since I've been visiting ParisDailyPhoto for several years now, learning about out-of-the-way places in Paris and viewing your wonderful photos.
    Duchesse: I haven't yet bothered to bring home anything from Ladurée (altho' we did bring some hot chocolate mix from Angelina's one year — and it was as sinfully rich as what you get there), but I'm thinking I should do, just for those wonderful boxes, especially if they are as sturdy as you say. Okay, that's it, bigger luggage next year, none of this carry-on nonsense!

  5. Susan B
    20 July 2008 / 9:03 pm

    What a delightful post!

    Oh yes, please do share your favorite dining spots, including that creperie.

  6. materfamilias
    21 July 2008 / 1:06 am

    Pseu: I’ll make sure I do that, especially since I know you’re going to be making a special effort to get to the Jardin Lux this fall 😉 (you lucky thing!)

  7. badmomgoodmom
    21 July 2008 / 3:19 am

    My husband shared your views of the French until he took a trip there with a non-white travel companion (me). Then he couldn’t believe the rudeness. French Algerians were very kind to me, and a few Frenchman while I was riding my bike, but our overall treatment is a reason why we avoid travel in France now.

  8. materfamilias
    21 July 2008 / 3:38 am

    badmomgoodmom: I’m sorry your experiences in France included so much rudeness, and I’d never deny that racism exists there. I was speaking specifically of our experience in restaurants, altho’ we’ve been fortunate overall.

  9. TheSundayBest
    21 July 2008 / 4:58 pm

    I think if you are open to taking people as they are you’ll always have a better time travelling. Every country has its…characters.

    This makes me hungry for something more than warm pizza.

  10. Sharon
    21 July 2008 / 6:48 pm

    Sounds lovely. And delicious. What and where I eat are a huge part of my travelling experience, too. I love compiling The Eat List and starring places on the map. Considering there are no flights booked or even dates set for when TBW and I finally take our maiden voyage to Paris, I already have a list started. Your expertise and input and needed!

  11. materfamilias
    21 July 2008 / 7:38 pm

    Thomas: Absolutely — take people as they are and remember that you’re a guest in their country. Adapt a bit and you’ll be amply rewarded.
    Charlie: Anticipation is at least half the pleasure of travel for me as well — oh, the lists!

  12. materfamilias
    21 July 2008 / 7:40 pm

    sm: Whoops! not sure I should so unproblematically be adopting Thomas’ nickname for you — please forgive.

  13. indigo16
    22 July 2008 / 10:37 am

    I can count on one hand how many times I have been served by a local in London. And there lies the difference between Paris and London. In Paris you are not a second class citizen if you serve food, in London you are percieved to be so. But I find the French waiters and waitresses so much more passionate about what they serve, and so I do not mind the brusqueness.
    I have like you found a small attempt at conversation will raise a slight smile.I people watch almost obsesively so I really enjoy eating alone.
    Regards the race issue, this is sadly a trait that pervades most of Europe, all be it on quite a subtle level in many areas. It is a shame though.

  14. materfamilias
    22 July 2008 / 8:05 pm

    Alison: I love people-watching as well, as did my father before me. And eating alone became very appealing during all those years of child-rearing when the house was always full — right where you are now, I’m sure.

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